Riddle me this and riddle me that (sorry there are no black cats about today!) ..... why is it frowned upon to talk about how we are
really feeling? Why is mental health a touchy and almost taboo subject? Why do we feel the need to push our feelings down, like they don't matter?
I'm really curious to know the answers or to at least open up a discussion around these questions. Let's take this question by question, throw in some dialogue, perhaps provoke some deeper level thinking and discussion.
Why is it frowned upon to talk about how we are really feeling?
We learn from a young age to answer the question of "How are you?" with the obligatory "Ok". Even when we don't feel that way (how does ok feel anyhow?).
It's like we don't allow ourselves to really express our true feelings. And so begins the societal habit of masking. The thinking that we don't matter and our feelings aren't important. I'm aware that there are people who do offer up how they're feeling and are often seen to be complaining. That's a whole other kettle of fish.
What if we could live in a world where we're able to communicate openly how we feel, knowing that our feelings are our own, and we're totally responsible for them? That if someone offers to tell us how they're feeling, we don't need to fix them. They are whole and complete, doing the best they can. And to thank them for sharing their genuine feelings with us. For this to be the norm.
I don't know, it's just a thought. Perhaps it would reduce the amount of stress and anxiety experienced in our worlds. Or not.
Why is mental health a touchy and almost taboo subject?
So this one is a big 'un for me. I didn't even realise until my mid to late 20's that I had control over what went on in my mind let alone really understand the term of mental health.
My question is this, why is taking care of our mental health not something that is taught freely in our education systems or even in our homes? Looking after ourselves mentally is just as important as our physical and emotional well-being. Mental health doesn't get enough air time. Or if it does, it's the extremities.
My school of thought is if we're able to talk openly about how we feel (refer to the first question) that this would reduce stress and anxiety levels, that on the whole we'd feel more accepted and part of the tribe and many people would be a lot happier.
There's so much more to mental health than meets the eye.
Why do we feel the need to push our feelings down, like they don't matter?
We have feelings for a reason. We're human. We see, we touch, we listen, we speak and we feel. Our feelings are our feelings. They are real and genuine and they are ours. There's no right nor wrong way to feel something.
Feelings are our body's way of communicating with us. I'm someone who feels a LOT. That's why I fell in love with Danielle La Porte when I discovered her a few years ago. She asks the question "how do you want to feel?". Realising I had a choice in how I wanted to feel, was like opening a whole new world.
Feelings matter. A lot. They are the guiding light in our lives. We as humans matter.
Maybe one day we'll be better equipped to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with each other. To be able to speak our truth in a way that is seen as normal. To open the doors of open communication. To remove judgement, fear and doubt.
Until then, we're all a work in progress. Perhaps we can start to generate a movement whereby when someone says "I'm okay", we don't just brush the comment and move onto the next topic of conversation. Maybe we look them in the eye and ask "How are you really?" Who knows what may come from that?
That moment when your creative muse comes to visit, is the moment you must embrace its presence. You will never have this moment of opportunity again and you may not recall your creative idea unless you let it flow when it's there to flow.
