Because Parenting Isn't Always Peachy

If you've been following my blog for awhile, it's no secret that I suffered Post Natal Depression after the birth of my first born. I suffered in silence and guilt for a long time, not wanting to confide in anyone and feeling ashamed for the feelings I was having towards motherhood.

If you want to read about the ins and outs of my motherhood journey, head over here for a squiz.

About 18 months ago I was lucky enough to find a wonderful organisation called Peach Tree Perinatal Wellness who are dedicated to helping parents who have or at risk of developing a mental illness during the perinatal period. As soon as I read their website, I fell in love with what they do and how they are doing it. Mainly because it's so aligned with my own personal values and big, hairy, scary vision of developing a Parenting and Perinatal Wellness Centre for the Capricorn Coast.

But that's not what I am writing about today!

This weekend I am heading to the magnificent Sunshine Coast to take part in the Peach Tree Coastal Trek - a 22km trek to help raise awareness of perinatal wellness and the work that Peach Tree is doing. If you would like to support me, please head to my supporter page to donate.

This is the major fundraising event for the year. Being a not-for-profit organisation they don't receive any funding from the government, so rely solely on fundraising and winning grants for projects. It helps to keep Peachy Parents Groups running each week. We are seeing success with the group I was involved in starting in Yeppoon earlier in the year and it would be wonderful to be able to spread this even further.

Little Mr and I have clocked up many km's over the past few months getting ready for Saturday. Any support you can give will go to a great cause. Parenting isn't always peachy and it's a relief to know that there's support out there if and when you need it.

Head on over to https://peachtreetrek2015.everydayhero.com/au/shanelle to make a donation.

Being PND Aware

Dear Fellow Mums

You may or may not be aware that this week is Post Natal Depression Awareness Week. You may have just cringed as you read that, and that's ok. This post is not for everyone.

Right now you may feel like you're sitting on the bones of your backside in the deepest darkest blackest place you've ever known,  or you are reduced to tears for no good reason, you may feel or you are constantly feeling guilty, worthless and incapable of going on, you may feel at a loss of what to do, who to turn to. I know these feelings well, because I have been there - in the cupboard, shrouded in darkness, sad, lonely and lost. Feeling like I was the only one. But I wasn't.

As a Mum who has travelled the rocky and bumpy path of PND and come through the other side, I feel it's my duty of care to reach out and help those who may be struggling with being a new Mum or just being a Mum in general.

If you are feeling in any way depressed, overwhelmed or simply not coping with motherhood, please reach out for help. (At the end of the post I will share with you some fantastic organisations that exist that can help you).

Reaching out and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Your family relies on you more than you will ever know. If you are not functioning well, neither does your family. Mothers are the glue that hold families together.

Talking about how you are feeling is so important. Getting out of your head and putting your feelings into words can help so much.

Please know that no matter how dark and heavy you may feel, it can get better and it will get better. You must be the person to make this decision. If you can't make the decision for you, make it for your family, for your children, for their future. As my GP told me "a happy, healthy Mum makes a happy, healthy family".

Your mental health and wellbeing is just as important as your physical health. If you are physically unwell, chances are you would do something about it. Why should your mental health be any different?

It's okay to feel afraid, scared and frightened of what may lay before you. Reach out. Talk to someone you trust (a friend, your GP, a counsellor, Life Coach).

What's not okay is to try to battle through alone, hoping these feelings will just go away, because they don't and they won't. So as I promised earlier, here are the names and links to some wonderful organisations doing fabulous work with PND & Perintal Mental Health ( Peach Tree Perinatal Wellness, PANDA, Smiling Mind, COPE, Beyond Blue, Lifeline) Connect with them, utilise their resources.

From one Mother to another, I send you love, strength and courage. I send you peace for your heart. I send you hope for a brighter tomorrow. I send you light for the long dark tunnel.

Love always

Shanelle

A Promise to Myself

I'm well aware that it's been quite some time since I posted, considering I found a post I'd started to write talking about how Little Mister is now 3 months old. Well today Little Mister turns 4 months old. Boy has the time flown! I'm a little guilty of letting other priorities take over and have missed the moments spent tapping away at the computer allowing my musings to take form. Anyhow, that's not what I intended to write about today.


What I wanted to share with you was a promise that I made to myself yesterday. For much of my life I've been an incredibly emotional person. I feel things deeply. I cry easily (read very easily, at the drop of a hat kind of easy!) and it's not because I'm sad or mad or angry or frustrated. I cry because sometimes I am incredibly overwhelmed that I cannot find the words to express the intense emotion that I am feeling and it's then those tears escape the levy.

I used to think that crying was weak and because I was crying so often I must be sad. Yet, I've come to realise that a good cry is an incredible way to release and flush out pent up emotion. Life seems so much clearer after a good release! The discovery I made yesterday was that I also get teary when talking about my passions.

You see, I'd gone into our local community centre to enquire about hiring a venue for a new parenting group for parents dealing with post natal depression. While sharing a little of my story with the office lady, the tears started to roll and flow out of the corner of my eyes. I wasn't sad. I was overwhelmed that I had come full circle in my own personal journey that I am now in a position to support others who may be finding it difficult to adjust.

As the tears slid down my face I apologised to her  and said I was having an emotional day (she probably thought I was crazy and that's okay if she did, that's her beef, not mine!). We chatted for quite some time and she revealed to me that she'd suffered PND with each of her 3 children. Side note here for a second - I find it incredible how many people have actually suffered from this and how many have suffered in silence. All the more reason for me to do what I can to support others.

Replaying this scene as I drifted off for my afternoon nap, I had a powerful realisation. I am human. I am emotional. I am here to love. I am here to give. Feeling for me is a way of life. No longer will I apologise for my tears for they are a genuine part of who I am. They are part of my humanness, my softer side. My heart may be more exposed to the world than others, as it seems to be overflowing with love and passion for so many people and causes, yet I am okay with that. For now, I am doing what I can to make a difference to causes I am passionate about. And the promise I made to myself was to allow my emotions to be seen and to stop apologising for who I am and what I feel.

How about you? What gets you emotional? What are you passionate about? I'd love to hear!