Diary of a Second Time Mum is my way of staying connected with the outside world as I experience the motherhood journey for a second time in 5 years. I hope to share with you the highs, lows, fun and learnings along the way in a weekly post!
Dear Diary
We welcomed our gorgeous son into the world on Tuesday 24th June at 3.59am. Here's how it unfolded ....
Monday was spent taking it easy as I felt off-colour with an upset tummy. Early night in our house however sleep was evasive.
After experiencing some tightenings and a show just after midnight I called the hospital to see what I should do. They said to come up and get checked out. I called Mum at 1am in the morning to come and watch Miss Almost 5. Once she arrived we drove off slowly into the thick, heavy fog for what appeared to be the slowest trip to Rocky on record.
Arriving at the hospital just after 2am, I was checked out and the Doctor said I was fully dilated and the calmest fully dilated woman he'd seen in quite awhile. Being the middle of the night and no surgical team available he advised that I should try for a natural delivery. I freaked out a bit and he proceeded to do a scan to confirm the position of our baby.
He almost fell off his chair when he found our boy to be in the breech position. My partner and I looked at each other with relief, at least we'd found out now. Then I started asking questions..... what are the chances of having 2 undiagnosed breech births? According to some fancy numbers I've read online since there's a 1% chance for a first born being breech (higher chance for girls) and about a 7% chance of subsequent pregnancies also being breech.
Phone calls were quickly made and a surgical team called in. By 3am, we were in theatre. I managed to remain calm and relaxed, which had been the mantra of my hypnobirthing for c section audio that I had been dutifully listening to a couple of times a day.
Even though I was booked in for a c-section on Wednesday and this was unfolding before me in an unexpected way, I felt a sense of calm and being in control. Like this time around I knew what to expect and was glad that we would get to meet our guy a little sooner; that this was the safest choice for us.
At 3.59am our little man appeared above the screen. There's nothing quite like that moment when they hold your baby up for your first look. He was taken away to be checked out and was soon laid on my chest for our first snuggles.
Back on the ward after being stitched up and spending some time in recovery, it was time to snuggle and cuddle more with the new man in my life. I fell in love instantaneously. I just can't put into words the feelings of love that came when I looked at his cute-as-a-button face.
Miss Almost 5 came for a visit with Granny & Poppy - keen to meet her new brother. After a few cuddles and kisses, she was eager to head back to kindy to tell the other kids all about him. She's been waiting so long for him to arrive.
After our visitors left for the day, the nurse came and got me out of bed for a shower. At first I was a little surprised to be up and about so soon, now I am very grateful. I feel fantastic and my recovery this time round has been smooth sailing. Now I can advocate how important your mindset and beliefs are and how much they impact on our experiences in life.
I will sign off for now. It's my intention to post once a week in some form or another using this platform.
Until next week,
Take care, keep smiling and be grateful for all the blessings in your life right now.
Love
Shanelle
Showing posts with label c-section. Show all posts
Showing posts with label c-section. Show all posts
Wednesday, 9 July 2014
Tuesday, 8 July 2014
Am I Being Precious or Are Professionals Lacking Compassion These Days?
Working as a travel consultant in various capacities over the past six years has kind of worn down my passion for travel to places like New Zealand, Fiji and Bali. It's like walking into McDonalds and ordering a plain cheeseburger. Not very exciting and quite run of the mill when it's your 10th request for the day.
It took me awhile to realise that it wasn't about me when a client came in to enquire about these kinds of destinations. I had no idea how long they'd been saving for their holiday, that this was their first family holiday and they thought they could take their family of 5 for 7 days for under $3000.
That was before I learned to ask them their story. To take the time to find out why they were going and what their expectations where, to connect with them as humans and to build a relationship with them so that booking their holiday became part of their whole experience.
Once I had gleaned this information from them and established a working relationship, I was able to get excited for them and the plans they had to help breathe life into them. If their expectations were unrealistic, it gave me a pivotal point to return to and be able to remind them why they were wanting what they were wanting. The connection we built showed them that I cared and they were not just another number to be recorded in my KPI's at the end of the day.
Recently, I've had an experience of the shoe being on the other foot. It's been with my obstetrician (the joys of going via the public health system). No matter how I look at it, I am really struggling with the lack of relationship, rapport and compassion that emanates from this man who appears to be in his 70's and the fact that I am purely another number to him (completely my own interpretation of events).
I get the fact that seeing pregnant women day in and day out is the norm for him. However, this is my second viable pregnancy, with a significant amount of years between the two; I want to feel special and cared for when I see a health care professional. My experience has not been a one-off either. For each of the 3 appointments I've had, it's been the same.
On the first visit, I was with him all of 5 minutes. He asked whether I was wanting a natural birth or c-section. I said I was leaning towards a schedule c-section based on past experience. He told me I would heal much quicker if I had a natural birth and that a decision would be made at 36 weeks. End of conversation. No room for discussion.
On the second visit, he asked the question again; to which I gave the same response. This time he asked what had happened and I told him a few of the details. I didn't feel at all comfortable and in some way was feeling guilty for the experience I'd had with Number 1. He repeated that I would heal much faster if I had a natural birth. End of conversation again.
On the 3rd visit, he asked if I was still wanting a c-section (after checking baby's heart and telling me I had a big baby - what the?) to which I replied yes, based on what's happened before I would prefer this option. His response was that he would go and book me a date. End of conversation. Discussion = nil. Rapport built = nil. Comfort with interaction = nil.
I've looked at this from every angle I can think of and yet there's something that really pisses me off. I know that I have no control over how he has chosen to act in this situation. I am only able to control my response and the meaning I choose to give to this strange encounter. It's given me an opportunity to conduct my own research, speak to other mums and health professionals to seek their opinions and thoughts. So in a sense, it's allowed me to educate myself on a much greater level, rather than relying on the opinion of one so-called medical professional.
As I sign off for now, I'd like to leave you to ponder and mull over the following, leave a comment and let's start a conversation around this:
* Where in your life are you treating things as 'run of the mill' rather than unique experiences and opportunities?
* If you are stuck in a rut and running on autopilot, what could you do to add some excitement and fun back into your life?
* If you've been on the receiving end of someone else's lack of compassion, what did you do to turn the situation around?
Until next we meet - take care and continue to be your amazing & awesome self xxx
It took me awhile to realise that it wasn't about me when a client came in to enquire about these kinds of destinations. I had no idea how long they'd been saving for their holiday, that this was their first family holiday and they thought they could take their family of 5 for 7 days for under $3000.
That was before I learned to ask them their story. To take the time to find out why they were going and what their expectations where, to connect with them as humans and to build a relationship with them so that booking their holiday became part of their whole experience.
Once I had gleaned this information from them and established a working relationship, I was able to get excited for them and the plans they had to help breathe life into them. If their expectations were unrealistic, it gave me a pivotal point to return to and be able to remind them why they were wanting what they were wanting. The connection we built showed them that I cared and they were not just another number to be recorded in my KPI's at the end of the day.
I get the fact that seeing pregnant women day in and day out is the norm for him. However, this is my second viable pregnancy, with a significant amount of years between the two; I want to feel special and cared for when I see a health care professional. My experience has not been a one-off either. For each of the 3 appointments I've had, it's been the same.
On the first visit, I was with him all of 5 minutes. He asked whether I was wanting a natural birth or c-section. I said I was leaning towards a schedule c-section based on past experience. He told me I would heal much quicker if I had a natural birth and that a decision would be made at 36 weeks. End of conversation. No room for discussion.
On the second visit, he asked the question again; to which I gave the same response. This time he asked what had happened and I told him a few of the details. I didn't feel at all comfortable and in some way was feeling guilty for the experience I'd had with Number 1. He repeated that I would heal much faster if I had a natural birth. End of conversation again.
On the 3rd visit, he asked if I was still wanting a c-section (after checking baby's heart and telling me I had a big baby - what the?) to which I replied yes, based on what's happened before I would prefer this option. His response was that he would go and book me a date. End of conversation. Discussion = nil. Rapport built = nil. Comfort with interaction = nil.
I've looked at this from every angle I can think of and yet there's something that really pisses me off. I know that I have no control over how he has chosen to act in this situation. I am only able to control my response and the meaning I choose to give to this strange encounter. It's given me an opportunity to conduct my own research, speak to other mums and health professionals to seek their opinions and thoughts. So in a sense, it's allowed me to educate myself on a much greater level, rather than relying on the opinion of one so-called medical professional.
As I sign off for now, I'd like to leave you to ponder and mull over the following, leave a comment and let's start a conversation around this:
* Where in your life are you treating things as 'run of the mill' rather than unique experiences and opportunities?
* If you are stuck in a rut and running on autopilot, what could you do to add some excitement and fun back into your life?
* If you've been on the receiving end of someone else's lack of compassion, what did you do to turn the situation around?
Until next we meet - take care and continue to be your amazing & awesome self xxx
Monday, 10 June 2013
Coming full circle
In this post I wanted to share with you a personal journey I have been on over the past almost 4 years. It involves me becoming a mother. You see, growing up I always wanted children and wanted nothing more than to be a mother with my own family to love, nurture and cherish.
Imagine my shock horror when my daughter arrived into the world in a way that I had not planned for at all! I'd had the perfect pregnancy, my waters even broke at 10 past midnight on her due date. All perfectly going to plan! Up until I got to the stage of actual delivery. Modern medicine somehow missed the fact that our girl was upside down and in fact in breech until I was in 2nd stage of labour!
What came next was something I had not planned nor prepared for .... an emergency c-section. Immediately I told myself I had failed as a mother because having a c-section was not on my list of perfect mother qualities. Uh oh. Yep you can see it coming a mile away! I took one little event that I had no control over and turned it into a hundred thousand times worse than it was.
That moment where I chose to take on that meaning of that situation was my downfall. I can say that now because looking back everything is so much clearer than it was in the haze of emotions and hormones. There began my downward spiral. I loved my daughter from the get go. But I didn't love being a mother. I didn't enjoy being at home with her on my own, not knowing how to soothe her cries, existing on a lack of sleep, not knowing if I was doing the right thing. Heaven help me, life was so much easier when I was working. I knew when I was and wasn't doing a good job, I had instant feedback from all angles to let me know that.
I decided to head back to work... part time... then full time ... then took on the role of the Manager .... then nearly had a break down because I could no longer be everything to everybody... then I went part time again .... 4 days a week.... because I had discovered that looking after myself I could see things more clearly, keep my feelings and emotions on a more even keel, be happy with myself, my relationship, enjoy time with my daughter, spend time with friends, study again. I had options and choice again. The fog was lifting......... and lifting ... and lifting .... and it still is.
This month I cut my workload down even further to spend more time with my gorgeous girl who never ceases to amaze me with her intelligence, her beauty, her passion and enthusiasm for life. To have her in my days and us sharing and creating memories together, having fun, laughing, being silly and giggling over nothing. I have also done this so that I can put more energy into building my business helping others to rediscover and reignite their passion and find their purpose in life. Because that's where my passion now lies.
Once upon a time, my identity was tied up in my job and what I did. Now my identity is tied up in who I am and who I am becoming and who else I can help shine. The message I wanted to send with this post is, if something isn't working for you, don't be afraid to change it and to keep changing it until you get it right. Until you know in your heart that it's right for you and those closest to you. Sometimes life keeps presenting us with the same lessons and it can take a few attempts to get the message that is being sent to us.
At the end of the day, we only get one shot at this thing called life and we may as well enjoy it and make the most of it while we're here!
Imagine my shock horror when my daughter arrived into the world in a way that I had not planned for at all! I'd had the perfect pregnancy, my waters even broke at 10 past midnight on her due date. All perfectly going to plan! Up until I got to the stage of actual delivery. Modern medicine somehow missed the fact that our girl was upside down and in fact in breech until I was in 2nd stage of labour!
What came next was something I had not planned nor prepared for .... an emergency c-section. Immediately I told myself I had failed as a mother because having a c-section was not on my list of perfect mother qualities. Uh oh. Yep you can see it coming a mile away! I took one little event that I had no control over and turned it into a hundred thousand times worse than it was.
That moment where I chose to take on that meaning of that situation was my downfall. I can say that now because looking back everything is so much clearer than it was in the haze of emotions and hormones. There began my downward spiral. I loved my daughter from the get go. But I didn't love being a mother. I didn't enjoy being at home with her on my own, not knowing how to soothe her cries, existing on a lack of sleep, not knowing if I was doing the right thing. Heaven help me, life was so much easier when I was working. I knew when I was and wasn't doing a good job, I had instant feedback from all angles to let me know that.
I decided to head back to work... part time... then full time ... then took on the role of the Manager .... then nearly had a break down because I could no longer be everything to everybody... then I went part time again .... 4 days a week.... because I had discovered that looking after myself I could see things more clearly, keep my feelings and emotions on a more even keel, be happy with myself, my relationship, enjoy time with my daughter, spend time with friends, study again. I had options and choice again. The fog was lifting......... and lifting ... and lifting .... and it still is.
This month I cut my workload down even further to spend more time with my gorgeous girl who never ceases to amaze me with her intelligence, her beauty, her passion and enthusiasm for life. To have her in my days and us sharing and creating memories together, having fun, laughing, being silly and giggling over nothing. I have also done this so that I can put more energy into building my business helping others to rediscover and reignite their passion and find their purpose in life. Because that's where my passion now lies.
Once upon a time, my identity was tied up in my job and what I did. Now my identity is tied up in who I am and who I am becoming and who else I can help shine. The message I wanted to send with this post is, if something isn't working for you, don't be afraid to change it and to keep changing it until you get it right. Until you know in your heart that it's right for you and those closest to you. Sometimes life keeps presenting us with the same lessons and it can take a few attempts to get the message that is being sent to us.
At the end of the day, we only get one shot at this thing called life and we may as well enjoy it and make the most of it while we're here!
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