Am I Being Precious or Are Professionals Lacking Compassion These Days?

Working as a travel consultant in various capacities over the past six years has kind of worn down my passion for travel to places like New Zealand, Fiji and Bali. It's like walking into McDonalds and ordering a plain cheeseburger. Not very exciting and quite run of the mill when it's your 10th request for the day.



It took me awhile to realise that it wasn't about me when  a client came in to enquire about these kinds of destinations. I had no idea how long they'd been saving for their holiday, that this was their first family holiday and they thought they could take their family of 5 for 7 days for under $3000.

That was before I learned to ask them their story. To take the time to find out why they were going and what their expectations where, to connect with them as humans and to build a relationship with them so that booking their holiday became part of their whole experience.

Once I had gleaned this information from them and established a working relationship, I was able to get excited for them and the plans they had to help breathe life into them. If their expectations were unrealistic, it gave me a pivotal point to return to and be able to remind them why they were wanting what they were wanting. The connection we built showed them that I cared and they were not just another number to be recorded in my KPI's at the end of the day.

Recently, I've had an experience of the shoe being on the other foot. It's been with my obstetrician (the joys of going via the public health system). No matter how I look at it, I am really struggling with the lack of relationship, rapport and compassion that emanates from this man who appears to be in his 70's and the fact that I am purely another number to him (completely my own interpretation of events).

I get the fact that seeing pregnant women day in and day out is the norm for him. However, this is my second viable pregnancy, with a significant amount of years between the two; I want to feel special and cared for when I see a health care professional. My experience has not been a one-off either. For each of the 3 appointments I've had, it's been the same.

On the first visit, I was with him all of 5 minutes. He asked whether I was wanting a natural birth or c-section. I said I was leaning towards a schedule c-section based on past experience. He told me I would heal much quicker if I had a natural birth and that a decision would be made at 36 weeks. End of conversation. No room for discussion.

On the second visit, he asked the question again; to which I gave the same response. This time he asked what had happened and I told him a few of the details. I didn't feel at all comfortable and in some way was feeling guilty for the experience I'd had with Number 1. He repeated that I would heal much faster if I had a natural birth. End of conversation again.

On the 3rd visit, he asked if I was still wanting a c-section (after checking baby's heart and telling me I had a big baby - what the?) to which I replied yes, based on what's happened before I would prefer this option. His response was that he would go and book me a date. End of conversation. Discussion = nil. Rapport built = nil. Comfort with interaction = nil.

I've looked at this from every angle I can think of and yet there's something  that really pisses me off. I know that I have no control over how he has chosen to act in this situation. I am only able to control my response and the meaning I choose to give to this strange encounter. It's given me an opportunity to conduct my own research, speak to other mums and health professionals to seek their opinions and thoughts. So in a sense, it's allowed me to educate myself on a much greater level, rather than relying on the opinion of one so-called medical professional.

As I sign off for now, I'd like to leave you to ponder and mull over the following, leave a comment and let's start a conversation around this:

* Where in your life are you treating things as 'run of the mill' rather than unique experiences and opportunities?
* If you are stuck in a rut and running on autopilot, what could you do to add some excitement and fun back into your life?
* If you've been on the receiving end of someone else's lack of compassion, what did you do to turn the situation around?

Until next we meet - take care and continue to be your amazing & awesome self xxx

Is It Me Or Are We Stuck on Achievement Autopilot?

Standing at the sink doing the dishes this morning, I was having a fantastic reflective conversation with the voices in my head (yes, this is fairly "normal"for me :)) I was thinking about my achievement of having published my first e-book, as I wrote about last week, and I noticed a tug of disappointment or heaviness, almost dread around that. Have you ever felt that after accomplishing something really big?

As I explored this a little deeper, it got me thinking - our society is so driven on the number-based outcome of so many situations rather than placing any focus or importance on who we are or how we're feeling whilst we're in the process of doing. So much focus gets placed on the end result, not the journey or the learnings that occurred along the way. We become drones of doing, factory workers lined up in the production line rather than choosing the way we want to feel or who we want to be in the process of "doing".

For me, this realisation came the other day when I was chatting with a friend and she asked me how many books I'd sold. I hung my head as I said "3". There and then I felt disappointed. Ego stepped in and overpowered the feelings and the journey I'd been on. I allowed ego to undermine my achievement. I was focussing on the number-driven result, the end of the production line.

While there at the sink this morning with my hands immersed in the warm soapy water, listening to the rain as it pelted down gently on the tin roof, I had a lightbulb moment - I didn't write the book for the purpose of selling millions of copies. I didn't set myself a set of KPI's to achieve or to show that my book writing was a success. My book didn't come off some production line. It came purely from my heart, my passion and my personal experience.

I wrote the book because I felt that I had a story to share, a story that may help others, a message that will resonate with a select few and not huge throngs of people and I'm cool with that. My intention for writing  was to allow other mums who may be struggling to realise that they're not alone, that things do get better and to share this passion on paper.

Then I got to thinking about Danielle La Porte's "The Desire Map" (a book and program incredibly close to my heart and something that's flipped my achievement autopilot on its head). She talks about having goals with soul, about taking the time to actually think about how you want to feel. I reflected back to when I started writing, I wanted to feel connected, passionate and honest. They were my 3 things and I achieved those.

Am I where I want to be with the message I have to share? No, not yet. I've realised that Mojo for Mummas is a work in progress. There is so much more to this than me sharing my story. And as I mentioned last week, I have been out there running workshops, yes with intimate numbers. However I believe this is the best way to deliver my message for now. Mums are comfortable in small groups, heartfelt conversations are had, discussions are started and Mums get the opportunity to open up and share a piece of their story in a safe, judgement-free place. That's what makes my heart sing. That's what success and achievement are for me. There's an online program, there's a workbook on the way - there is so much more to come, the book has been the tip of the iceberg. The beginning.

Therefore the achievement of writing and publishing has been the starting point, without that I have no where to go. Who knows I may only ever sell 3 copies or there may be 3 million mums out there who resonate with my message, if I give into ego now, I will never know what I am capable of. I choose to continue the journey, coming from my heart, showing my vulnerability and most of all allowing the "real" me to show up.

 This week I want to leave you to ponder over a few simple questions:,
* where in your life have you been on achievement autopilot recently?
* How are you feeling about that?
* What could you choose to focus on rather than the number-based outcome?

I'd love to see your comments. Have a sensational week!