Day and time is a mystery at the moment! This occurred some time in the past couple of weeks .....
Dear Diary
Tonight is one night of the week I've come to dread and I know I shouldn't but it is what it is. It's one of the nights I'm flying solo as mother of 2. My back up plan is working the night shift, which means all responsibility lies with me!
The afternoon goes well but once 6pm rolls around it's a whole different kettle of rotting fish. The planets seem to collide, erupt and explode simultaneously without the fanfare one would expect from such a dramatic occurrence.
Tempers are short and frayed, tantrums are plentiful, there's a screaming child involved (and it's not the baby!), instructions are given and ignored, things escalate and get out of hand faster than a dropped match in tinder dry grass. There's something about the witching hour where all reason goes out the window.
By this time of the day, I am tired from the almost constant feeding of Little Mister and I am looking forward to dinner, shower and bed. When I am on my own with the 2 cherubs, things don't go to this smooth plan!
Tonight I almost lost my shizz completely. It was dinner time and although I'd taken a quiche out earlier, it hadn't made it into the oven yet as we'd had visitors in the afternoon. So it's 6 o'clock, Little Mister has started his cluster feeding early tonight, Little Miss is hungry for her dinner and I tell her I will make it as soon as I can. I feed Little Mister one breast, put him down, quickly make a toasted chicken, cheese and BBQ sandwich for Little Miss to put some substance into her tummy and send her for a shower. I know the nutritionists would be tut-tutting at me, but hey, for tonight it gets the job done!
That's when the proverbial hit the fan. Several requests and attempts to get Little Miss into the shower whilst Little Mister is hanging off my other boob severely failed. My temper flared and soon my voice was raised. She's standing there with her hands on her hips telling me she could do what she wanted when she wanted.
This didn't fly with me at all. My inner Aries fired up more like a lion than a ram!
My ace card of calling Dad at work was thrown aside when she tried to snatch the phone out of my hand as I was dialling. This was the final straw! Shower and bed for you Little Miss!
Meanwhile on the inside I was having my own mini meltdown. The "bad mother" voice began to kick in, but I wasn't ready to give into it. I did what any girl in trouble does, I called my Mum.
Somehow having Mum on the other end of the phone while Little Miss stood in front of me and told me she wasn't going to bed yet allowed me some time to breathe. It got me out of the heat of the moment to realise that the war that was raging on in my house was not the be all and end all. There is life outside of this little pressurised bubble that had been growing by the minute ready to pop at any given second!
Eventually once she realised she no longer had my full attention, Little Miss conceded and went into her room to read.
And now, 2 hours later she's lying in bed singing "10 Green Bottles ever so sweetly while I'm here grateful that I didn't resort to swigging one of those green bottles.
Some days are diamonds and some days are stone.
Tomorrow is a new day and no matter how tough things get,
I'll never be on my own.
Let's hope our next meeting is under better pretenses!
Love to you
Shanelle
xxx
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