My Vulnerability Hangover

As you are no doubt aware, last year I wrote several posts about my motherhood journey, sharing the highs the lows, the dramas the delights. It was an incredibly releasing experience for me. It allowed me to let go of so much of the emotional baggage I’d been carrying around for the past 4 years.

Telling my story allowed me to let go. It created space for me to move forward. But it’s also left me feeling like I’d opened myself wide up to the world and now I am bearing the brunt of a vulnerability hangover.

For those of you familiar with Brene Brown’s work, you will know exactly what I am referring to. For those who haven’t had the privilege of hearing this incredible woman speak, take a few minutes to check her out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o

You see, I felt like I shared too much. And in a way there’s a sense of shame associated with my story. Because it didn’t pan out the way I wanted it to. I felt like I had bared my soul to the cyber world and have no idea who has read my story or who knows the details of what I had shared. I don’t even really know if anyone else related to it or if it struck nerves or chords with those who read the posts.

I’ve been in a bit of a daze the past couple of months, mainly because so much has been happening in my personal life (and yes I will no doubt share the details with you in my coming posts) but also because I am not sure if my message was received and how it was received. Or if you the one reading this thinks I am a complete nutter?

We never really know what others think of us and we don’t need to. The reason I shared my story in the first place was to not only let go of the emotional baggage I’d been trudging around with, but to let others know that it’s okay to have a ‘less-than-perfect” approach to life  and that it happens with its twists and turns. It’s how you handle yourself in the fallout. It’s how you pick yourself up again and rebuild the pieces, even stronger than before. It’s the lessons we learn that form the beautiful patchwork quilt we make ourselves during our lifetime. I wanted others to know that it’s okay to reach out and share experiences.

And the more I’ve thought about this over the past few days, my reaction has been typical of what society has moulded us to be. Don’t share too much. Don’t be too honest. Don’t open up too much. I realise also that I had once again fallen in the trap of feeling as though there was some sort of standard I should be complying to, rather than just being me.

Stepping back, I gently reminded myself that there’s only one of me. I am unique and individual, as are you. We each have our own stories, tales that have melded, moulded and shaped us into who we are today. And for that, we should be proud. I have declared that it’s okay for me to be me and for me to share my story. It will resonate with some and others will think I’m a dick, and that’s totally cool.

But you know what, if what I share just helps one other person and begins a ripple effect in their life and helps them turn themselves around, rediscover who they really are before the world told them who they were meant to be, then I have made a contribution towards making the world a better place. I urge you to be the real, authentic you – that’s exactly who the world needs right now!