It all starts, happens & ends with You

Over the weekend I had the privilege of attending an inspirational conference run here on the coast. Among the many messages I took away from the weekend, there was one that hit home a little more than some of the others. It was that all life's successes, defeats, battles, encounters and how they play out come back to self or you as I will refer to here today. As difficult as this may be for some to swallow, we are responsible for the outcomes we are getting in life; not our parents, not our partner, not the school we went to. Pure and simple, it all comes back to you.

Yes shitty things may have happened in the past and at some point you may have been given the raw end of the deal. You may have been in a relationship with an unfaithful partner, missed out on a promotion, ended a lifelong friendship and multiple other "bad" things will definitely have occurred at some point in life. But the past does not equal the present nor your future. Part of life is falling over scuffing your knees and getting back up again.

For some reason we humans love to wallow in the fact that bad stuff has happened to us. Dependent on the circles you hang it, it can almost become like a competition. My hurt was better than yours. My life is messier and more screwed up than yours. This is easier than accepting responsibility for some. Easier than reflecting and delving into the part you played, if in fact you did play a part.

Or as part of becoming an adult, is it merely a matter of recognising said shitty thing, seeing the lesson, learning from the lesson, taking responsibility and moving on? Shitty things happen each and every day to each and every one of us. The difference between someone who gets on with it and someone who chooses to wallow simply comes down to mindset. In every situation we have a choice. A choice in how we respond, a choice in the meaning we choose to give the circumstance and a choice for how long we will carry around burdens, dramas and baggage.

If you are not happy in your relationship, look at where you are not happy with yourself. Start working on yourself first. If you are a boss/manager who wants to motivate their team, start by motivating yourself. If you are a parent with communication problems with your child, take a look at your communication with yourself. You see, nothing is external. Everything is internal. Now that may need a big glass of red and someone to debate with and mull over to get your head around. But while you're there, try this one on then "that which we see in others is a reflection of ourselves".

We see life through a series of filters. What you see in others and in situations is a result of what you have chosen to put through your filters and the meaning which you have chosen to assign. My challenge for you today is that if you are not getting the results you want in your life right now, feel like everything is a constant battle, if you have a lot of drama going on in your life, if you are simply not happy with who you are and where you're headed and if you tend to blame others for the outcomes you are currently getting, then it's time to step up to the plate and accept responsibility. If you have multiple things going on, choose one and decide here and now to be responsible. Then start to think about why this is an issue for you. What have you chosen to believe? What meaning have you given? What could you make it mean? How could you choose to see the situation instead? What could you do differently to get a different result for yourself?

If you would like a helping hand to explore and go deeper, I have five complimentary 45 minute personal power sessions up for grabs for the week beginning 3rd June. Send me an email at shanelle@conectioncoaching.com.au to secure your place today. It's time to dump the baggage and excuses and get on your way to bigger and better things!