Failure - Friend or Foe?

Failure is your friend if you are using it to learn from. If you realise that you will fail more times than you succeed. If you are using it to pivot and tweak and try new ways, new strategies.

It is your foe when you start weighing your self worth against your ability to fail at something. When your negative self-talk kicks into high gear.

How can you flip it I hear you ask? Well, like many things, with practice and repetition, a skilled is learned and a muscle becomes toned.

Get excited about failing.

Know that you will fail more times than you succeed.

Accept that failure is part of the process.

Stop tying your self worth into your ability to produce what you deem to be a successful result.

Look at failure as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Have a failure-full Monday!!

Big Love

Shanelle

The Link Between Our Body & Our Emotions

 Something that has always fascinated me is the link between the body and the emotion/s that we harbour in a particular area and how that can manifest as pain in our physical bodies.

The back section of my copy of 'You Can Heal Your Life' and 'The Body is the Barometer of the Soul' are well-thumbed from me checking what is going on when I feel pain in a certain part of my body or a friend tells me that they have a pain. They have become my go-to guides.

To me, it just makes sense that we are all energy, our emotions are energy and emit a certain frequency or vibration. If left unexpressed or held onto, these emotions can manifest as illnesses in certain parts of the body. I know I may be preaching to the choir to some of you who are already up on this, but stick with me for a bit.....

What I have been noticing more and more lately and myself included, is a lot of people feeling like they are harbouring anger, holding onto it., feeling trapped by it because it has nowhere to go We're taught from early on, not to be angry and it's not nice to express our anger. But guess what happens when we don't express these feelings? They go and hide out in the body. Anger they say harbours in the liver.

We're taught to be good girls and boys, to say and do nice things. But we all know that with life comes the downs with the ups. There are times when we need to let it all out, to let the rage come through us and out of us in order to shift the energy, to clear our vibration and to move forward or out of the current situation we are in. There are healthy ways in which we can choose to do this - writing a letter and then burning it, screaming or punching into a pillow, getting out into nature and screaming at the top of our lungs - whatever you feel called to do.

Now I am not talking about taking this anger or rage or fury out on anyone else. I believe that we need to learn healthier ways to deal with anger - it is after all a natural emotion. It can become troublesome when it becomes our initial and normal reaction to situations, this is when we need to go and take a long, hard look at ourselves and what is going on within and around us, and where the source of the anger is coming from.

For the most-part though, we can begin to take a different approach to anger when we notice its presence. What if we when we noticed anger appearing, we had a gentle conversation with it. 'Hello Anger, I can see you are here again, what is it that you would like to tell me today? What message do you have? What are you trying to tell me that I am not getting? What do you need from me right now?' And just sit with that. Whether it's an internal conversation with yourself or something that you choose to work through in your journal - just do that. There is no right or wrong.

If you are noticing pain in a particular part of your body, tune into that. Acknowledge that it is there. Ask it what emotion it's relating to. Ask it what it wants you to know. Ask it what it's message is for you. We have an innate wisdom within ourselves that often goes untouched because we are afraid of delving into the unpretty and undesirable thoughts and feelings we have, we give our power away to others, often paying them to 'fix' the problem, when the real solution lies within. There is much insight for us to gain when we can begin to have these conversations with ourselves.

And quite often, the best and the simplest thing we can do for the pain in our body, is to send it love. It's here because it wants to be recognised, to be acknowledged. Send some love and see what happens.

In love, light and gratitude

Shanelle

When In Doubt..... Write

Hello!

It's been quite some time since I've posted on here. I've been getting some pretty big nudges to get the words out of my head and out there. I am aiming to ease into posting more regularly. And talking nudges, this is something I came across in an old journal from 2017:

I really enjoy flicking back through my old journals to see what wisdom has dropped in. Over the years my journals progressed from very dark, 'I hate the world and everyone's an ar%$hole to being more flowing and fluid with a 'knowing' that visits me when I put pen to paper. I've recently learned that this form of writing is channeling. It's funny because I was always in awe of people who channelled, thinking it was some amazing skill they had been gifted with. However, we all have the ability to channel if we slow down, become quiet enough and take the time to actually connect. It can be as simple as asking 'what does my soul want me to know today'  and then allowing the words to come through without thought or consideration, just letting them flow onto the page. I am grateful for stumbling across Lee Harris and his work.

So I will see you back here real soon with some more of my life's musings and insights.

In love, light and gratitude

Shanelle

Finding Your Own Beat

Following on from my post this morning ..... (looks as though the writing bug is back for a visit lol!)

There is more I'd like to share with you ....

Now is the time to march to the beat of your own drum. What makes your heart sing? What sets your soul on fire? How would you really love to spend your days? What fills your heart up that it's full to overflowing?

We are being called upon to stand up, to rise up, to carve our own paths, to embrace our uniqueness, to use our creativity, to connect with each other, to learn, grow and share from each other. To step outside of where it is comfortable.

The energy is changing. We don't have to keep doing things the way we have been. We have a choice. We can choose to change or we can choose to stay the same. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

But what if you went after what's calling your heart and soul? What if you went and did the thing you've been longing to do - the course, the business, the retreat, working with the mentor, the coach?

If you don't, it will always be a "what if?". And "what if's" don't get us very far. The only way to learn and grow is to take a chance on yourself. To start somewhere. To make a decision. To begin. To take the first step. And it may be something small, seemingly insignificant to start with. Although nothing is ever really insignificant. All the pieces have a place and they all fit together.

Perhaps it's a conversation you need to have, perhaps it's a matter of getting the idea out of your head and onto paper, perhaps you need to take yourself outside into the fresh air.

Ask yourself -

What is it that I really want?

Where am I now?

What can I do right now to take me one step forward towards my vision?

Who can I talk to and share my goal/dream/vision/desire?

Who can support me with this?

It's only when we ask ourselves these questions and take the time to answer them, that we can begin to formulate a picture of what we want, otherwise we keep showing up, doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result and not sure why it's not happen.

All it takes is one single choice.

Sending love, light & gratitude

Shanelle

Rebel .... with a cause!

Some reflections of late have shown me that I have actually been a rebel (and continue to be lol!) for most of my life. Not in the rule-breaking sense, but in the sense that I don't need to do what everyone else is doing for the sake of being like everyone else. I don't need to be cool and I don't need anyone's approval, except for my own.

I've always known that I am different. Often times being different has led to me being left out, to standing on my own, to not being part of the "cool crowd". And you know what, I am totally okay with that.

I'm working through a 5-day challenge with Jana Kingsford at the moment where some homework is to look at what we stand for and what we stand against. One of the things that came up for me, is that I am really against doing what everyone else is doing. It doesn't sit right for me and doesn't feel authentic in any way.

As you may know, I struggled last year. I struggled to find my voice, to find my way,to stop comparing myself to others, to find a way to make this work for me and my family, to carve my own path, to be unique and I continue to work through these. I don't want to give "cookie cutter" style experiences. I can't solve your worldly problems through you purchasing a solution in a box from me. I'm not your typical coach. I have so much more to offer and often times I don't speak up about that.

What I do stand for is:

* Living a heart & soul centred life that is in alignment with my purpose and passion of helping others to connect/re-connect with themselves and creating a life they love

* Being the best version of me, embracing and accepting my imperfections and flaws, learning and growing from my experiences which in turn allows others to be the best version of themselves accepting their imperfections and flaws, learning and growing from their experiences.

* Knowing that there are endless possibilities and options, that there is more than one way to reach an outcome. Flexibility is the key!

* Our reality is created by us and it is possible to create a life you'll love.

And just so you know, what I stand against is:

* Judgement of self and others

* Negativity

* Excuses

* Being one of the herd

* Doing what everyone else is doing for the sake of doing something

So there you have it, a little piece of my heart (and mind lol). This is me. This is what I stand for. The work that I do will always come back to this. At my essence, this is me. Stick around for the ride if you'd like to see what comes next!

In love, light & gratitude

Shanelle

A Poem

Let go of that which no longer serves you.

Leave the past in the past.

All you have is here and now.

A chance to begin anew.

A chance to start afresh.

That which has hurt you before,

Can no longer do so.

Release it. Release it. Let it go.

Embrace each day for the opportunities

And wonder that comes with it.

Allow yourself to be fully present in each moment.

Fill your heart, your mind, your body and your spirit with love.

Let it flow freely from your being,

Spreading out into the world,

Making a difference where ever you go.

Fill your heart with light,

Shine your beacon on the dark spaces,

For we all have dark spaces;

That aren’t quite as scary when we allow the light to shine it.

Take this moment and make it yours.

Treasure it.

Honour it.

Do with it what you like.

All you have is here and now

And what you do

Is entirely up to you.

Shanelle Schick 2016

The Key to Love Lies Within You

I am sitting here on a rainy cold Sunday, knitting away (my current project is a mermaid tail blanket for my daughter) listening to Marianne Williamson's e-book "A Return to Love" while the rows are passing me by. Hearing her talk about love, reminded me that a few years ago, I wrote down some musings on my thoughts on love, which I will share with you in a moment.

The profound thing is, that the words I wrote those years ago are pretty much on par with what she is saying in her audio-book. Talk about a goosebump moment. We are wiser than we are lead to believe. We are wiser than we let ourselves believe. Trust that you know what is right for you.

Anyhow, here are the musings that I had:

"Love is what brings us here, what puts our feet on the earth.

Love is what connects us to our family, our friends, our lovers, our souls, our purpose, ourselves. Love unites us with ourselves and others.

Love nourishes and nurtures us, encourages us to grow, protects us as children.

Love breeds love.

Where is the lesson taught that love for who you are is the most important kind of love? Where are we shown to love ourselves, to give to ourselves, to cherish ourselves, to nourish, to nurture, to accept, to believe, to trust, to inspire within before we seek it from elsewhere?

Where are we shown that all that we have is a reflection of who we are?

Where is the school teaching us that emotions are fabulous and are capable of connecting us with ourselves and others? And that it’s okay to display these openly and honestly, no need for holding back or holding onto our truest feelings?

Where are we shown that love is beautiful, kind, passionate, forgiving, challenging, rewarding, tenacious, light, heavy, invigorating, mesmerising, defining, peaceful, easy, relaxed, exciting, vibrant, soulful, naked, imperfect, honest, raw, truth, desire?

How do we learn to love? How are we taught how to define love? We all have our own unique versions, definitions, rules, regulations and expectations when it comes to love. Why is it expected to come to us? Why do we seek it out, search for it, long for it, ache for it, compromise for it, lust after it? Why do we need love from outside to complete who we are? Why does it come easy for some and yet eludes others? Is it a matter of expectations and levels of satisfaction? Are they different in each of us? How do you know when you’ve arrived at love? What does it look like, feel like, sound like? Why are we taught love is difficult, challenging, worth fighting for?

Love is beautiful.
Love is raw.
Love is vulnerable.
Love is sweet.
Love is bitter.
Love is warm.
Love is connection.
Love is cuddly.
Love is intense.
 Love is tender.
Love is kind.
Love is mushy.
Love is luminescent.
Love is pure.
Love is simple.
Love is evolution.
Love is beautiful.
Love is inspirational.
 Love is projection.
Love is wondrous.
 Love is amazing.
Love is awesome.
 Love is plentiful.
 Love is limitless.
Love is flowing.
Love is vibrant.
Love is colourful.
 Love is within.

What if you are love? Who you are. What you do. What you bring into this world; the way you live your life, the way you embrace others, the way you face your fears, the way you conquer your own inner battles. What if love is you? What if you are love in the form of bliss, desire, passion, abundance, connection, vulnerability, rawness, devotion, wholeheartedness, acceptance, gratitude, peace, flow, vibrancy, tenderness, inspiration, enough, appreciation, wonder, fulfilment, expansion, evolution, imperfection, rawness, honesty, truth, beauty, emotions, free flowing, effervescence, flexibility?

 Life would be a series simpler, straightforward, uncomplicated, humming, peaceful, ebbing, flowing, rippling, streaming, gushing and rolling experiences, with one common denominator – love. If the world came from a place of love, rather than the lack mentality there is the moment, there would be enough for everyone, we would be happy with who we are and what we have, we would be peaceful, calm, relaxed, we would be grateful and appreciative, and we would be content. We would be enough."  

I am sure there are many more things to learn about love. My greatest learning so far is that first we must love ourselves in order to love others and to receive love. More to come on this topic!

The Story that Still Chokes Me Up Unexpectedly

This morning I had a phone interview with a journalist from a magazine that is doing a feature on PND.

It doesn't matter how many times I share my story, there are still days when it gets me. Some days I get taken right back to that place and those feelings and I get a bit choked up. While I realise just how far I have come since those dark days, at times there is still an element of guilt that comes into play.

I know cannot undo what has been done. I can simply use my experience to share with others to help them feel less alone and to realise that PND is more "normal" than what we're led to believe. If through the process of me sharing helps just one other person, then that is enough.

Having this reaction also makes me realise how passionate I am about supporting mums and dads on this rocky and unfamiliar road of parenthoodand how important it is that we learn to put our emotional health and wellbeing at the forefront.

It's time for it to be okay for us to share how we are really feeling on the inside. It's time to take away the mask we've been wearing for society's sake, because that's all just a facade any way.

Being a parent is a tough gig, it's unlike anything we've experienced before, but it shouldn't have to be a journey we walk alone.

I will continue to share my story, for it's bigger than me. It no longer defines who I am. It's a part of the tapestry of life I continue to weave.

Big love to you! heart emoticon

If you are not feeling great about things at the moment, then I encourage you to reach out and talk to someone. And if someone reaches out to share how they're feeling with you, please don't try to fix it, just listen with the intent to hear what they are saying. This is the best thing you can do 

Seven Year Switch

I have a confession to make ... I totally got sucked into watching "Seven Year Switch". Last night was the last episode of the experiment where the couples decided if they were going to stay together or to split.

I sat watching it like one would watch an impending train crash, unable to look away. I couldn't believe that at the end of it all, the amount of blame that was being placed on the other partner (in most of the relationship scenarios) nor the conditions that were surrounding them staying together.

When did love become a bargaining tool?
When did it become "If you do this, the way I like it, the way I think is right, then I will love you?"
When did love become so conditional?

No one was taking any responsibility for themselves and their behaviour. It was still such a blame game. I'm not quite sure what they learned during the course of the experiment or perhaps it's just what the producer chose to show us as a reflection of the experiment - who knows.

Some things I have learned about love and relationships (and am continuing to learn, as it's a process and a journey, not a start/finish point and am by no means an expert in this area)

* Love starts, happens and finishes with you
* The quality of the relationship you have with yourself will determine the quality of all other relationships in your life
* Real Love is limitless and unconditional
* You cannot rely on someone else to fulfill a need within you that you are not prepared to work on and mend for yourself first
* That which you see in your partner (positive and negative attributes) are a direct reflection of what you are able to see within yourself. So if you are constantly whinging and complaining about your partner, perhaps it's time to take a closer look in the mirror.
* Quality communication is fundamental in all relationships
* Nothing has meaning except for the meaning which we choose to give it

Big love to you all, wherever you are and whatever you are doing today heart emoticonheart emoticon

Take My Hand ...

A little poem popped into my head and wanted to be written and shared. xx

Take my hand awhile, place it in yours.

Let me know I am safe.

Allow me to feel your warmth.

Stay close by my side, even when I push you away.

Clear the path for me to walk.

Allow me to follow my heart and to explore.

May you give me comfort in my time of need.

While gently reminding me it's really all inside of me.

Show me glimpses of what I can be.

Spark my inspiration and light my creative fire.

Let me know that I am really enough.

And that I can make it through

All of life's "big" stuff.

Village Building for Mums

We've heard that it takes a village to raise a child. It's also important for a mother (especially a new mother) to have the nurturing and support of a village too.

When I had PND, no one in my village understood what it was like to have a mental illness associated with motherhood. I felt guilt and shame because I wasn't "normal". There was no one to open up to about what was really going on for me.

I can almost guarantee that if someone in my village had known about the signs to look for or how to support someone with PND, then my journey wouldn't have been so isolating.

If someone else in my village had a lived experience of living and coping with a mental illness as a new mum, someone - a go-to that I could have talked to about my real feelings and how I wasn't coping, then I wouldn't have tried to hide from it for as long as I did.

Peach Tree Perinatal Wellness is the bridge into a Mum's village. When's she not coping as a mother. When she's challenged by her mental health. When she's overwhelmed with the entire deal of motherhood. Our Peachy Parents Groups are building strong villages of support for mums. They provide a place to speak opening and honestly, without judgement. A place where friendships are formed and deep breaths are taken as mums realise they're not on their own and they are not alone in their experiences.

Peach Tree Perinatal Wellness is a not for profit organisation who rely on fundraising efforts and securing grants to support our Peachy Parents Groups and our Parent Education Programs. We may not have the big shiny name or reputation (yet) of other charities, however the work we carry out in our communities has a huge impact not only on the mums engaging in our services, but the children, partners and families too.

Having said that, I encourage you to take a moment to make a small contribution to a very worthwhile cause who doesn't have the ability to promote ourselves in flashing neon lights. Our annual Peach Tree Trek is on next Sunday 1st May in Brisbane, one of our biggest fundraising efforts for the year. Even $5 will make the biggest difference to the villages we are building and will help us to expand them to reach more families who can benefit from having Peach Tree in their lives.

4 Tips to deal with overwhelm at this time of the year!

As 2015 is rapidly drawing to a close, life is starting to get overwhelming for many of us as we navigate the end of year celebrations.

In today's video, I share with you 4 tips to help get through this challenging time of the year.

Welcome to Connection Coaching

This morning I took a gigantic leap outside of my comfort zone and made a short video about who I am and what I do.

Feel free to check it out!

My intention is to post a video a week. If there's a particular topic you would like to know more about or if you have a question, please feel free to comment or send me an email shanelle@connectioncoaching.com.au. For more regular updates, be sure to "like"  our Facebook page.

Have a great week and I'll be back soon!