Some quotes you hear once and they stick with you for the
rest of your life. When I heard someone say “The purpose of life is to love, to
learn, to give and to grow”, I thought they were God. Really? It’s that simple?
You can clear away all the bullshit and bring it back to those 4 raw ingredients?
It took some time to get my head around that. I now love this saying and am
waiting for the day I can commission an artist to paint a mural with these words
permanently embedded to display proudly on my wall as a reminder of what the
essence of life is all about.
The all-familiar cliché of “life is a journey” is something that
is bandied around constantly nowadays. It’s almost to the point of overuse.
Yes, life is a journey. Yes, you are the driver of your own bus, or Porsche or
bicycle or whatever metaphorical vehicle you wish to choose. However, you are
more in control of what happens in your life than you have been led to believe.
The power to change exists within you. The power to be
better exists within you. The power to romance exists within you. The power to
love exists within you. The power for peace exists within you. The power of
choice exists within you. Everything comes back to you. What you choose to
believe and what you choose to make things mean. You and only you create your
reality.
Love is so undervalued. We’re taught it’s something that
comes to us from external sources, not from within. However, how can we give
something to others if our cup is not full? Learning to love you for who you
are, flaws and all is not egotistical, it’s soulful, it’s calming, it’s
certainty and it’s truth. You are so unique in who you are and the story you
have to share with this world, what’s not to love? How can you expect someone
else to love you if can’t even love yourself.
The body we are given is merely our vehicle in life. Love
it, cherish it or use it and abuse it. The choice is yours. You can choose to
be healthy or not. You can choose to eat nourishing foods, or not. You can
choose to think happy thoughts or not. Ultimately the responsibility for you
and your wellbeing rests with you. On that note, happiness does not come in the
form of a pill, a chocolate, a man, a woman, a handbag or a pair of shoes. They
may feel good and look great, but it’s only temporary fix to what’s really
going on inside of you.
Learning these lessons has been difficult. It has been
challenging and there has been more than one occasion where I said, “screw this;
I am going back to the old me”. And then that little voice starts going off in
my head “You know you are better than this. You can do this. Pick yourself up
and have another shot.” And so I do. I am not anywhere close to being done yet
and I sincerely doubt if I will reach a point where I’ve got all my shit
sorted.
Where I have come from and what I have learnt so far has
given me some fantastic tools to use when I am faced with hardships, challenges
or obstacles. And just because I am working things out doesn’t mean that bad things
will stop happening in my life. Things are happening all the time. Why is it
that we have this compulsive need to label everything in sight? Why is there
judgement? Why is there segregation? And what’s it doing for us as a human
race? Whatever happened to all men (and women) being created equal?
As for motherhood, it’s a learned thing; it’s not
necessarily instinctual for us all. I am the proud mother of a now gorgeous,
intelligent and inquisitive four year old who has a wisdom and zest for life
well beyond her years. There are no signs of the struggles, rollercoasters and
darkness we went through those first few years of her life. Now we spend time
together, laugh together, watch Peppa Pig, argue like sisters (because we’re
both pretty stubborn), make biscuits, paint each other’s nails, do crazy dances
like no one is watching, have movie nights, have tea parties, go for bike rides
and walks, read stories together, cuddle and tell each other “I love you” .
These are the moments which I will cherish forever.
The other night we were lying in her bed talking about
things that scare us. Her comment to me was “But Mum, you’ve had a baby, you’re
not scared of anything”. There’s that
wisdom again! I said to her, that having a baby was probably one of the scariest
things I’ve ever done and writing about my experience of it comes a close
second.
If I were to impart some wisdom from my journey and life’s
learnings thus far; this is what they would be:
·
- Everything starts, happens and ends with you. If
you want something to be better, start by making yourself better first. The
rest will fall into place.
- Become your own best friend. When you can do
this, your relationship with others shifts to a whole new level. Becoming
independent and loving you is a pretty powerful thing. I’d recommend you try
it!
- You don’t always have to have all the answers or
all the plans in place to move forward. Trust your instincts and trust yourself
enough to make a decision. If it’s not the right one, you have the ability to
change it.
- Become flexible. Look for alternatives. Give
yourself options. At the end of the day, as long as you reach the outcome
you’ve set for yourself, does it really matter which path you took?
- Surround yourself with people who really get
you, who inspire you, lift you up, the ones who can be blatantly honest with
you and challenge you to higher standards when they know you’re not giving your
all, the ones who really have your back.
- Asking for help is not a sign of weakness,
rather a sign of strength. It also shows that you have courage and are prepared
to take action rather than wallow in self-pity.
- Oh and last but not least, find yourself a coach
or similar, someone that resonates with you to help you work through your
“issues”. To grow your thinking needs to be challenged, your boundaries need to
be pushed and stretched to expand your circle of comfort.
After all, in this life if you’re not green and growing
you’re ripe and rotting and I know where I’d rather be!
