Having Cake & Being Able to Eat It Too!

For a long time I've felt pulled in two different directions, a constant internal tug-o-war. One direction is a love of helping people organise their holidays to create beautiful memories for themselves and their families. The other, a love and passion for helping people understand life and the meaning they've chosen to give it, being able to overcome fears and limiting beliefs to create a way forward.

Both directions are full of passion. Both directions light me up. I thought I had to choose one or the other. I beat myself up about this for the longest time.

So I told everyone that I didn't like my job (Reality is that I love my job, didn't necessarily love the environment I was working in). Over time I've tweaked my life to be working in my job less and more in my coaching environment. Except when in my coaching environment, I have been very afraid of many things. So much time wasted getting caught up in small, insignificant details that don't even matter right now.

For quite awhile I thought I had to choose one over the other. You see, the end of my maternity leave was edging closer and I knew a decision needed to be made - return to work or go full throttle into coaching. Having to choose one option threw me into complete chaos. The very thought of returning to work full time, 5 days a week in a busy office environment made my heart die a little bit (okay maybe a lot).

The thought of working from home, creating a business and working in that business for me made my heart sing, yet fear was hanging out there too. Was I good enough? Could I do this? Would people want to come and see me as a coach? Do I have a message that other people want to hear? How would I cope working from home and having a baby here too? Blah blah blah blah blah.

Then I had a thought - what if I could do both and on my terms? After a conversation with my manager of my "job", I discovered that I could work solely from home. I could still book holidays for my very loyal repeat clients, earn an income and the best news was that I could do it in my own time. I didn't have to clock on or off each day. Hell, I could sit in my pj's with bed hair working if I wanted to.

Suddenly my heart was singing, my soul felt at ease and I realised I could have my cake and eat it too!

The doors I once thought would close if I chose one over the other have been flung widely open simultaneously. I am loving the new-found variety and flexibility of having choices in my days. I love the fact that if someone calls and asks me out for coffee, chances are I can say "yes".

I am feeling wonderful. I feel alive. Switched on. Plugged in. Vibrant. Ready. It's like someone has flicked a switch and everywhere I look I now see possibility. My creative juices are flowing again (and yes I can even fit in some blogging time too!).

Lessons learned:

• Fully check out your options
• Be open to possibility
• Tune into how you really feel about your situation
• Find something that lights you ups
• Variety really is the spice of life!

To celebrate my newfound awareness, I am offering "pay what you can" coaching sessions for the rest of the month. If you are ready to move forward or are just looking for some direction, send me an email with your availability . It's time for you to have your cake and eat it too!

A Note to My Fellow Mums

Dear Fellow Mums

This note comes from my heart and I ask that we all be kind to one and other. After all, we're playing on the same team here.

We're all on a journey of our own. Our experiences are similar, yet unique. Please respect the fact while doing the same job, we all have a different approach; we find one that works best for us, one that gets us through the day, that brings peace to our home, that gets us a night's sleep so we can wake up and do it all again tomorrow. Yes, this approach may be different to yours, and that's okay. Nobody said we have to be the same.

When a Fellow Mum asks for advice in a public forum, please respond with respect. Asking for help publicly takes a lot of courage and guts for some of us. To make someone else feel less of a mother because they do things differently to you is a crime. Be respectful in your response.

Yes we are entitled to our own opinions, however there's a way to voice them without being overbearing. Unless you can offer support and advice in a way that empowers your Fellow Mums, please be kind enough to keep it to yourself.

I'd like to encourage you to support and champion Fellow Mums. We're all doing it tough. We all have things that we are challenged by, that leave us wanting to tear our hair out, that scare the pants off us, that leave us in tears of frustration. And yes, we all have some things that seem to come more naturally than others. So if you see a Fellow Mum struggling, offer her your support. Come from the heart, come form a place of love, your Fellow Mum will be forever grateful.

Please remember that motherhood is a learned thing and each child is different. This gig is tough enough without us tearing each other down with careless words and judgement.

If you are on the receiving end of advice, please remember the above-mentioned points. Just because something works for one mum, so you give it a try and it doesn't work for you, it doesn't make you any less of a mother. It just means that that's not a suitable way for you and your child/children. Try something else. It has no reflection on you and your mothering capabilities. None at all.

Unfortunately this mothering gig doesn't come with a one-size fits all manual that will solve all our qualms and queries. We are each other's best source of information, support and connection. Please keep these channels as open and honest as you can.

It's my desire to create a space for my Fellow Mums to feel comfortable asking questions and seeking advice in a non-judgmental way, where they are supported and encouraged. To build a community where we are free to be ourselves, to show our vulnerabilities, rather than attempting to live up to someone else's standards and expectations. And yes, be warned, I may stand on my soap box until I bring this vision to the land of reality.

Until Next Time

Take it easy, take a breath, relax and remember - "we're all battling our own mothering demons".

Love

A Fellow Mum