The Blurry Lines Between Who I am and What I Do

Somewhere, somehow the lines between who I am and what I do have become tightly entangled and are in need of some unravelling. I came to this conclusion last week when I found myself in a position that required some help, but because I had the thought of "I am a Life Coach" stuck in my head, meant that I was reluctant to reach out and ask.

Yet another limiting belief has raised its ugly head. I thought because I do Life Coaching that I must have all my shit together. Ha ha ha!

Crazy right? I know! Just because we choose to do a certain profession doesn't make us any less likely of needing help or assistance in difficult or trying times. Consciously I know that I cannot possibly know all of the answers and if someone else had said the same thing to me, I would have thought their thinking was way off kilter.

So why then was it okay for me to think that it wasn't okay to ask for help? And that if I did ask for help I would be seen as less qualified than what I am? And that by asking for help I was showing my weaknesses and even worse yet, I was showing how vulnerable I really was? Man our minds really do have a lot to answer for at times!

The lesson I gleaned from all of this after hearing from an honest source that I couldn't very well coach myself out of this situation (I will admit I have been trying to ha ha!), was that we all need a little help some times. I know I have said this before, but I will say it again because it's apparent I haven't really gotten the lesson all the other times I've said it and maybe you didn't either, that's why it's reappearing.  Asking for help is a sign of strength , not a sign of weakness.

Knowing where to go for help and making sure it's from a reliable source is probably the biggest challenge. Personally I am aware of how much better I feel after asking for help and being on the receiving end of help. So I guess it's fair to say that there are times when even the helpers need help!

As much and all as I am passionate about Life Coaching, it's something I do, but it doesn't prevent me from having problems, issues and challenges on a daily basis. There are times when my coach training and experience can't get me out of the pickle I am currently in and another opinion is required, no matter how hard I try.

So I will surrender peacefully and gracefully and admit that I do need someone else's help on this one. That it's completely okay to admit this and ask for the help to get me through.

My only wish, is that you can do the same for you. If you're feeling stuck right now, caught up in a problem with your face pressed against the glass seeing what you want on the other side but don't know how to get there, just reach out. Ask for help. Ask the question. Ask for guidance. Trust me, you'll be so glad you did.

Week One - Done and Dusted

"All About Me August" has passed it's first week. I'm pleased to say that I have been making much more of a conscious effort to take care of myself first. It's a challenge though and a habit that's going to take some time to form. I just keep reminding myself that it's important to look after me so that I can give back to those who need me most.

Some of the things I have noticed over the past week include:

* My mood has been a lot more stable

* Giving to me feels good

* I am having so much fun remember what I enjoy doing and making sure I do them

* I am learning to appreciate the little things (it's amazing what 5 minutes sitting on the grass in fresh air and sunshine can do for you)

* Things really can wait and the world won't end if I don't respond straight away (emails don't self destruct if you read them and then don't action them)

* My hiatus from Facebook was more of a challenge that I had anticipated (I think I lasted 2 days before I was back on there. I will post more about this in the coming days)

* Playing beautiful mantras is soothing for the soul

* I had forgotten how much I love reading and holding a physical book, not an electronic device

* I feel so much better when I feel my body nourishing foods, move it and talk to myself nicely

* I've been compelled to declutter, my bathroom has been cleaned (a post is in the pipeline on that, watch this space!)

What's not working so well?

* The tendency to strive is still quite strong. I am constantly reminding myself to be present in the moment, to be happy where I am at.

* Giving myself a break, knowing that this is a process and not a quick fix

* Being hard on myself when I can't fit everything into my days (I am learning to say no, so this is a work in progress)

How are you going? What have you noticed? What's working for you? What's not working so well that you are going to change up this week? I'd love to hear how you're finding the journey. Leave me a comment of feel free to shoot me an email shanelle@connectioncaoching.com.au

Day 3 - How Did I Even End Up Here?

It's no secret that I suffered PND with my first-born. I was feeling quite proud to have become a second-time mum and seemingly kept my mental health intact. Or did I?

Recently things have been creeping back into my life that started to trigger off some warning lights.
* Teary at the drop of a hat
* Going from calm to angry in 3.0 seconds flat
* Feeling blah a lot of the time
* Overly emotional
* Saying yes to everyone and everything else and leaving me til last
* Generally feeling completely out of whack

Knowing what I know and having travelled the road I've travelled, these are cues that things are not the way that they need to be for me to function properly in my day-to-day life. Now that's a scary thing to admit.

Truth be told, it doesn't matter who you are or what you do, taking care of one's mental health is one of the most imperative parts of looking after yourself. Knowing when things aren't right and knowing when to ask for help is daunting, yet important to put steps into place to get life back on track to being some form of  "normalacy" (whatever that may be for you).

These feelings have prompted me to start "All About Me August". During the month I am makingsure to take care of myself first so that I am more able to give to those who need me. Yes it's a challenge, but I am confident that by the end of the month a new habit of self-care will have been formed.

I would encourage you to take stock of where you're at at the moment. How is your mental health really? If you're feeling out of whack and things just aren't right, it doesn't hurt to have a chat with your GP. Beyond Blue have some great resources on their website. And remember, Lifeline is a phone call away if you need to chat with someone.

Day 1 of "All About Me August"

I feel compelled to share my progress of Day 1 of "All About Me August". I'm not sure if this will become a regular thing or not, let's just see where the wind takes us.

I'm pleased to report that Day 1 went pretty well and was actually a smoother transition than what I had an anticipated.

The exciting thing was that I managed to get a head start on Friday night. Once the kids were tucked into bed, I pulled out "Eat, Pray, Love" and started to read it again, with some jazz playing away in the background. Absolute bliss. So simple. So easy and yet something I NEVER do for myself. It was a beautiful way to end the day.

My wake up call came at the regular 6.30am with the sounds of Mr 1 babbling away in his cot. Instead of getting out of bed and going straight to him, I took my time,  had a shower and dressed for the day (something I NEVER usually do). It felt great to have already done something so simple for myself to start the day, that I wasn't bothered by the fact that it was Saturday and I was up already.

Progress on the disconnection from social media is going fairly well. While I will admit I wasn't able to stay off the whole day, I did check in a couple of times to see what was happening in the world. However, I didn't feel drawn in to be on there aimlessly or like a billion things other people had posted. Let's see what Day 2 brings on that front.

Now I'm not sure if this is pure coincidence or not, but I found I was able to do more during the day because I felt I had already done something for myself. We had a pretty busy day with a birthday party and a few other jobs to do. The kids and I spent time together washing the car, going for a walk and getting dinner ready. It was lovely to have that time and to enjoy doing something with them.

My other commitment to myself this month is to stop striving; to stop pushing myself to do things that aren't ready to take shape yet, to stop wanting more than what I have now, to stop coming up with ideas and to stop saying "yes" to everyone else before I've really checked in with me to see if it's something worth my while. This is what I am finding challenging. My brain is so used to constantly going, seeking, searching, looking for possibilities, it's a struggle to be in the moment. Perhaps tomorrow I can start some meditation, perhaps that will help me to learn to be in the moment.

I totally understand that this is the first day of a 31-day month and anything is likely to happen over the coming days. Starting is starting and progress is progress, no matter how small. As part of my preparation for the month,  I sat down and wrote a list of things I like to do that make me feel good. I will refer back to this during the times I need to be guided in the right direction.

Will you be joining me on this quest to make August "All About You?" What things make you feel good? What challenges have you come across?

Until next time I feel the need to share this journey with you.
Sending love xxxxx
S