Fit Your Own Oxygen Mask First

This post is a bit of a follow on from my previous one. It's in relation to taking care of oneself before jumping in to save the rest of the world.....

That being said, I am not sure where the notion has come from that we need saving. What if we're all on our own paths meandering along on our own journeys? No one else knows what's right for us except for us. No one really knows how we are feeling except for us. No one can really appreciate the full extent of what we experience except for us. The only way we have of communicating how we really feel is through the words we choose to language our world.  withAnd the words we choose to use to language our world depend on the filters that we've used to form our piece of reality.

Confusing right? Yep. It most definitely is. We are all walking around in our own little made-up worlds, telling ourselves the stories we choose to tell ourselves and interpreting our experiences based on what we've experienced before. Each of us has our own version of reality. What freaks me out may completely excite you and vice versa.

With this knowledge then, we must use it to our advantage to realise that no one needs to be rescued. No one needs to be saved. We need to take care of ourselves first and foremost. This may be a difficult pill for some to swallow. However how good are you going to be when you are tired, run-down, emotionally exhausted? Yes it sounds selfish to take care of ourselves because it's the complete opposite of what society tells us. When I say take care of ourselves I don't mean that you completely forget that there are other humans in existence and this does not replace common courtesy. Simply it means fit your own oxygen mask first before helping others.

Ensure that you are taking care of self first and foremost. Only when we take care of ourselves properly are we of any use to anyone else. Only when we take care of ourselves are we able to help others. Only then are we completely ready and able to achieve our victories in this lifetime.

Coming full circle

In this post I wanted to share with you a personal journey I have been on over the past almost 4 years. It involves me becoming a mother. You see, growing up I always wanted children and wanted nothing more than to be a mother with my own family to love, nurture and cherish.

Imagine my shock horror when my daughter arrived into the world in a way that I had not planned for at all! I'd had the perfect pregnancy, my waters even broke at 10 past midnight on her due date. All perfectly going to plan! Up until I got to the stage of actual delivery. Modern medicine somehow missed the fact that our girl was upside down and in fact in breech until I was in 2nd stage of labour!

What came next was something I had not planned nor prepared for .... an emergency c-section. Immediately I told myself I had failed as a mother because having a c-section was not on my list of perfect mother qualities. Uh oh. Yep you can see it coming a mile away! I took one little event that I had no control over and turned it into a hundred thousand times worse than it was.

That moment where I chose to take on that meaning of that situation was my downfall. I can say that now because looking back everything is so much clearer than it was in the haze of emotions and hormones. There began my downward spiral. I loved my daughter from the get go. But I didn't love being a mother. I didn't enjoy being at home with her on my own, not knowing how to soothe her cries, existing on a lack of sleep, not knowing if I was doing the right thing. Heaven help me, life was so much easier when I was working. I knew when I was and wasn't doing a good job, I had instant feedback from all angles to let me know that.

I decided to head back to work... part time... then full time ... then took on the role of the Manager .... then nearly had a break down because I could no longer be everything to everybody... then I went part time again .... 4 days a week.... because I had discovered that looking after myself I could see things more clearly, keep my feelings and emotions on a more even keel, be happy with myself, my relationship, enjoy time with my daughter, spend time with friends, study again. I had options and choice again. The fog was lifting......... and lifting ... and lifting .... and it still is.

This month I cut my workload down even further to spend more time with my gorgeous girl who never ceases to amaze me with her intelligence, her beauty, her passion and enthusiasm for life. To have her in my days and us sharing and creating memories together, having fun, laughing, being silly and giggling over nothing. I have also done this so that I can put more energy into building my business helping others to rediscover and reignite their passion and find their purpose in life. Because that's where my passion now lies.

Once upon a time, my identity was tied up in my job and what I did. Now my identity is tied up in who I am and who I am becoming and who else I can help shine. The message I wanted to send with this post is, if something isn't working for you, don't be afraid to change it and to keep changing it until you get it right. Until you know in your heart that it's right for you and those closest to you. Sometimes life keeps presenting us with the same lessons and it can take a few attempts to get the message that is being sent to us.

At the end of the day, we only get one shot at this thing called life and we may as well enjoy it and make the most of it while we're here!