Diary of a Second Time Mum - "The Advantages of Having a Koala Bear Baby"

17th July - 23 days old

Dear Diary

So this is where I am hanging out today.... on my bed, with my little man snuggled in closely and laptop on hand to keep me entertained in between feeds and naps.

It seems Little Man loves being closely snuggled between the milk bar and doesn't like being too far away from them at all!!

This experience is a new one for me. You see, I didn't get the snuggly, cuddly moments with my daughter for several reasons:
a) she was in a brace to correct her hip, so she was more like cuddling a box than a baby
b) I suffered severely from "First Time Mum Syndrome" and was too scared to cuddle for too long in case I created a "clingy" baby or did something wrong (I'm so grateful I got the opportunity to be a mother again!)

I know now that cuddles do not create clingy babies and it's okay to make up the rules as you go along. It makes so much sense that my baby wants to be close to me, after all we went everywhere together for 9 months, just because we are now 2 separate entities, doesn't mean that that changes anything! My Koala Bear Baby has taught me the following in a short amount of time:

• There's nothing better in the world than snuggling with your precious new little person
• Appreciating the moment for what it is, knowing that this time will never come again
• This time is a wonderful opportunity for me to rest and catch up on sleep. Naps are a beautiful thing and the world looks so much better after a little snooze!
• Going with the flow and taking things as they come, rather than undertaking my day with control and military precision ticking off check boxes and to-do lists
• If things get done, great. If they don't - no big deal. Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to have a crack then
• I'm not out to prove anything to anyone. There are no awards to be won. Perfect Mother does not exist and I have no desire whatsoever to chase that title in this lifetime ever again. I am perfect in all the right ways for the little people that need me and mean the world to me. No one else's opinion of that counts!

I will sign off for now as there are more precious cuddles waiting for me.

Until next we meet.

Love

Shanelle

Diary of a Second Time Mum - Breaking All of My "First Time Mum" Rules

8th July - 2 weeks old

Dear Diary

Sitting here feeding (yet again!) contemplating the past two weeks with the new man in our lives, I realised how calm, relaxed and laidback I've been this time round. This reflection also got me thinking about the strict and stringent rules that I had set for myself as a first time mother and how completely ridiculous they were. Also how those rules had no bearing over how my daughter is today.

I can proudly say that 2 weeks in, I have already rebelled and broken the following rules:

• My child will not have a dummy (I requested one be brought to the hospital on the second day after the first night was spent sleepless with an unsettled baby. And wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't take it. But having it there as back up was reassuring in a way)
• My child will be breastfed, not formula fed (This one went out the window on our first night at home. He wouldn't settle and seemed to be hungry no matter how much I fed. So I cracked open the tin of formula I'd bought before he was born, mixed up a bottle, and wouldn't you know it ...... he wouldn't take it! Again it was reassuring to know that I had another option)
• My child will sleep in its own cot/bassinette (This rule was broken I think on the 3rd or 4th night home. Little Mister loves to be held and it's been awfully cold. There's something wonderful and cosy about snuggling close with your baby that I missed out on with my daughter, seeing as though she spent her first few months in the brace correcting her hips. I have been sleeping half sitting up to make sure he's safe. His favourite place in the world is snuggled into  my chest between my boobs like a little koala bear :)
• My child will wear cloth nappies (This time around I knew disposables are the way to go. During the newborn phase who really has time to wash pooey nappies! I do have a confession to make though ... during the crazy "get everything ready because baby is coming soon" stage, I did diligently wash all the cloth nappies and stack them neatly in the cupboard. A couple of days later I came to my senses and realised I was off in some fantasy world and immediately packed them all back into the garage. Maybe some day .....) 

It feels good to know that I can be flexible and adaptable adjusting to the circumstances as they arise, rather than being imprisoned by the notion of right and wrong. If I've learned anything, it's that there is  no right or wrong, there just is.

Some days you just need to do whatever you can to get through the day and if that means spending the day in your pj's on the couch giving your little one snuggles because that's what they need in that moment, well that's what's happening that day. The housework can wait. The dishes can wait. The outside world can wait. Because right now I am really enjoying getting to know this new little man we've been blessed with and I'm sure soon enough there'll be time to tend to life's other menial tasks!

Until next we meet.

Sending love

Shanelle

xxx